he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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