i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
