So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
