its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Holy sore nipples Batman
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
