So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize