omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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