I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
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At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
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I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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