I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
