The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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