I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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