and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
