Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
