she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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