I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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