I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
