I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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