dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
