I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
