I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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