so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
