Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize