do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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