I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize