He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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