I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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