glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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