I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just gift wrapped bread.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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