I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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