Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
