dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
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All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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