i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
