I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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