How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
