Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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