Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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