Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize