I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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