census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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