it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize