Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize