Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize