So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
