Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
