yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
it wasn't lemon gatorade
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
