Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
