she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
