sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
