dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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