I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize