you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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