If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
