you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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