all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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