The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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