someone threw a dead crab at me
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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