Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
