But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
