i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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